I am the architect of my own disaster

I want to feel the dry, dead, heat of the sun burning on my face, I want cold feet in the middle of the night. I want flight delays and the hard, cold tiles pressing against my hip and shoulder bones as I lay against them. I want anxiety to press the butterflies tight against my stomach. I want messy unkept hair and flowers for no reason. I want pancakes AND bacon and eggs, on the same day. I want inconvenience and loneliness. I want sorrow and pain, I want tears streaming down my face, in a desperate plea for happiness. I want chocolate cake at 2am and too much champagne at 1pm. I want to jump out of a plane and have a parachute catch me right at the very last second. I want quiet sunsets and busy walk ways. I want busy sunsets and quiet walk ways. I want to feel the exquisite pain of helplessness. I want someone to kiss me on my forehead and pour me a glass of juice before they pours theirs. I want curiosity to keep me awake all night.I want splinters in my fingers and for tea to burn my tongue. I want inconvenient, take-my-breath-away, can't-live-without, love. I want someone to take my hand and ask me nothing more then if I want to sit by the window on the plane ride out of here. I want to travel the world, twice. Once, to see the world. Twice, to see the way you see the world. I want friendships that span over decades. I want lost friendships and heart break, absolute, bone chilling, mind numbing, heart break. I want tight hugs and meaningful conversations. I want adventure and smiling at the thought of possible failure.
Most of all, I want the people with open minds, the ones who will tell you that sorrow is just as wonderful as bliss and that at any moment, you can be whoever you want to be and love whoever and whatever you want to love - whether it is religion or the same sex or drinking or pain. I want to sit in bars and I want to linger in coffee shops just to find these kind of people. Without knowing it, they are slowly changing the world.

No comments:

Post a Comment