Your death has left me devastated. It has left all of us empty, empty like a big black hole in the middle of the earth. My soul is riddled by guilt on all the things that were left unsaid. My mind goes around in circles like a mouse in a cage; thinking, thinking of nothing and everything all at the same time. It's been a tough year. I lay awake because the thoughts overcome my mind like a tidal wave ripping apart everything and smothering all the calm crevasses that no longer function. My tears are warm as they drip down my face never getting the chance to dry.
I'll miss the way you made me laugh. I'll miss making fun of mum together. I'll miss your stories.
I got my wandering nature from you. To explore, to be calm in the questions of the unknown, going in and out of where you should be and want to be.
A footy player at heart and a tutu wearing dancer; A father, brother, uncle, son, brother in-law and husband. Your little care of what other people thought of you made you stand out from the rest and this is what I will take on with me.
We'll look after mum don't worry, say hello to grandma and grandpa xxx